23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time

Fr Dominic’s Homily

How many of us like to get involved in conflict management? It’s never easy. And there are so many situations that can arise – in the family, at work in the parish…

And in the world we live in where there is no tangible truth anymore. My way is as good as your way. Who are we to say what is right? So today we hear about how to tackle the intricacies of conflict management from Jesus himself.

Remember in Genesis when Caine hills Abel. God come looking for Abel and asks Caine where his brother is? Caine responds am I my brother’s keeper? From there the rest of the bible is Gods answer to that question.

In the first reading Ezekiel reminds us that we are in fact responsible for our brothers and sisters around us. That if we see them doing wrong and we are in a position to say or do something about this then actually we should. Because otherwise we might get asked something about this in the next life.

As you know in the readings we have the first reading, the psalm and the Gospel are always meant to relate to each other in some way. They are meant to have a common theme.

The second readings that we have on a Sunday are almost always from a letter of Saint Paul and are nothing to do with the Gospel or first reading. They have their own theme. However by chance today it is because we hear St Paul saying that Love is the one thing that cannot hurt our neighbour. We must love our neighbour as our self.

Now what do we mean when we say love. Do we mean some warm fuzzy feeling where everything is going to be ok? No. Love isn’t always like that as you know.

Sometimes love takes the form of a tough decision or act. Like when you shout at a child for putting his fingers too close to an electric socket or running out into the road. You have their best interests at heart because you love them.

So Jesus gives us some teaching on how to undertake tough love with our brothers and sisters. This can take some resolve on our behalf. We need to speak to that person face to face. In an honest way. Tell them of their error and how it has affected you.

Now that doesn’t mean that we should pick people up on everything they do! Life consists of us having to choose our battles. We can’t fight everyone. Some are simply not worth fighting. And sometimes it might be us who are in the wrong. So sometimes we simply need to accept, pray and wait. Not react emotionally.

If the person rejects our account and the matter is serious then we engage others. Remember that Jesus was directing this to his apostles and to those members of the church at the time.

He says that if we have done everything we can then finally we must treat them as pagans and tax collectors. You can sense people rubbing their hands thinking great! Now I can treat them in an utterly derogatory manner and dismiss them. Retaliate even. However not quite.

Remember how Jesus treated tax collectors and pagans. He loved them, prayed for them, spent time with them and eventually brought them back to him.

If he had said eventually you should treat them like scribes and Pharisees them that would be a different matter!

So Jesus wants us to put ourselves in their shoes and listen to them and try to see things from their perspective. And why would he want that? Well because that’s exactly what he did in becoming a human being and managing the conflict that he experienced from us whilst he was in this world.

He lived his very life in our shoes and walked the path that we walked.

Sometimes words that we say to another need time to take root. We can’t expect immediate results. Think about illness and medication. Very rarely do you get an immediate healing. More often it takes time with repeat prescriptions. So it is with bringing people back onto the right path in life.

Remember how long St Monica prayed for her son St Augustine to be converted? It took her whole life.

So let us pray us pray to God to grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference when we are relating to all those around us whom we encounter in life.